i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
