watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
