fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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