How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
