if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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