If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
