Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
