i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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