Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He literally asked permission to hit on me
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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