My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
