Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
