What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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