Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
