i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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