I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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