you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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