i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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