Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize