I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
