Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Randomize
