i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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