It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
