dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
