is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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