So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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