I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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