uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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