On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i think my mom watched the whole time
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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