What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
