only if we run a train.
done.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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