his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
