I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
