oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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