i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
