I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize