i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
