Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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