Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
