I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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