Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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