no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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