Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
