I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
