We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
