Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
