he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
two words: eviction party
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
sex in a hospital.. check
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
