do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Houston, we have a blender
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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