When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The air was thick with penises
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
