Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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