I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I don't deserve a penis
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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