Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Randomize
