Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
