I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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