Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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