Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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