can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I enjoy the company of your penis
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
