Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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