Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
