I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
