Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
