I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
