Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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